The biggest lesson that has made me who I am came when I decided I wanted to change the generational curse and decided be vulnerable enough to ask for help and be open to whatever form it comes in. For me that help was therapy. When I was dealing with my emotional issues, general unhappiness and dissatisfaction with my life I made the decision that enough was enough but I just didn't have an action plan to get the life I wanted. It would only happen once I admitted to my doctor that I needed help.
Working with a professional gave me the clarity I needed, it gave me the space to say all of the uncomfortable self defeating lies I had been telling myself outloud. It allowed me to not hide behind my black woman strength and helped me to admit it was a facade. I had to get real clear on what I wanted and what no longer served me and therapy gave me the tools, and skills to do that.
Once I learned about the connection between my feelings, and emotions and how they drive my thoughts and behaviors it became clear to me that I needed to learn to master them in order to get the life I wanted. When I became healthy and realized happiness was a choice, I wanted to go back to school and give that to other women like me. I wanted to share with people of color that you don't have to suffer in silence. The largest push back I receive daily is battling the myth that having a diagnosis or going to therapy makes you weak. Vulnerability and intimacy is courageous. Asking for help is courageous.
We have to change the narrative around people of color and mental health. I'm going to continue to do my part both with my private practice Proactive Mental Wellness here in Brookyn, NY and with My Podcast Black Therapist Podcast. I want to change the narrative and let everyone know that with the right information happiness is possible.